The Italians have a beautiful expression for love: ti voglio bene. Though commonly translated as “I love you,” ti voglio bene more literally means “I wish you good” or “I want what is good for you.” This phrase reminds us that love is not primarily about what good feelings may be stirring within. Even less is it about what I can get out of a relationship for myself. The fullness of love is looking outward toward my beloved and seeking what is best for that person, not just what is good for me.

Jessica was a seventeen-year-old high school junior when she attended her class retreat. The second evening of the retreat was, according to the teens who had attended the retreat before, “heavy, deep, and real” and tended to be their favorite experience of the retreat. Students were beginning to lower their guard and trust one another and the adult leadership team.

The charming ruins of the Great Stone Church and the beautifully preserved structures of this once-glorious “Jewel of the Missions,” convey a rich but tragic history. Junípero Serra founded it on All Saints Day 1776 as the seventh of the California missions. San Juan Capistrano flourished with a neophyte population of 1,361 at its peak.

At our Baptism, the priest anointed us with sacred chrism and said that we were now identified with Jesus in his roles as priest, prophet, and king. As a priest, we are to offer sacrifice and we do this by participating in the Eucharist, offering both ourselves and the sacrifice of Jesus to the Father. As a prophet, we are to witness to the good news bringing peace and justice to all we meet. And as a king, we are to share in Jesus’ role of ordering all things toward the Father in the Holy Spirit.

With these words a man and a woman begin a journey together, and their lives, and those of their families and friends, will never be the same. Nor will that of the faith-community, for the exchange of marriage vows affects not only one man and one woman, but their parents and siblings, their extended families and their faith-communities. It changes their legal status and identity for now they will be a new family within society and within the Church. That’s how far reaching is the effect of committed love. Marriage is one of the most usual, and yet distinct, things two people can do.

Sickness, accidents, age—all things we have faced or will face as human beings. It’s just part of life. Life isn’t perfect and things happen. And sometimes they happen very unexpectedly.